Blank Noise Project
Monday, March 06, 2006
A commendable effort from the Indian Blogosphere about Sexual Harassment in Public places. It is a reality that we encounter on a day to day basis. We are either a victim or a slient spectator. A vast majority are the perpetrators as well. The chalta hai attitude has fostered it even more, to the point that it has become a day to day affair for them, a part of life, a reality of living in Indian cities. The shameful part is we do not even want to stand up against it. It is a guilt that everyone of us carries. So much for chivalry.
My last brush with it happened about a year ago in Brigade Road. Brigade Road is to Bangalore what Connaught Place is to Delhi, Leicester Square is to London and Time Square is to New York. Its is the waterhole of the city with swanky shops and illuminated hoardings all around. During the weekend evenings the place fills up to the brim with shoppers and young couples roaming around, having a nice time. Its a mass of humanity moving in all possible directions.
This makes it the favorite haunt for gropers and eve teasers alike. The crowd is a perfect cover for them. After all when you are surrounded with people from all sides, you cannot avoid physical contact. And its the women and girls who suffer. As any Bangalorean will tell you, crossing the Brigade Road on foot on a Staurday night is a horrible experience. Being new to Bangalore I was unaware of this till one day I had to take my friend out to Rex for a Staurday Night movie.
My friend also happened to be one of the most stunning and attractive people I had ever known. Although she was past her prime, she still was a head turner wherever she went. She was used to all the attention she got and managed it perfectly well. But it was something more she attracted that day. A middle aged man coming from the other side bumped right into her and went straight for her crotch. Bumping into someone was not an unusual thing to happen given the crowd and the thought didnt even cross my mind that the guy was upto something else. But before she could react the guy had gone past and mingled into the crowd.
She was incensed. She felt voialated. She felt angry. She was on the verge of tears. And I stood there helpless since it was impossible to find that guy out in the crowd. Going after him would have meant leaving her stranded in middle of Brigade Road. That in itself is a scary thought. We couldnt do much. I calmed her down, fed her a ice-cream, cheered her up with the prospect of the movie and the rest of the evening went off without another untoward incident.
But today I am taking this opportunity to come clean with it. If you are reading this Pooja, then I am sorry. I am sorry that you had to feel that way because some men are just too perverted to fit into rest of humanity. Hope you can forgive us.
PS: Do read this moving post from Annie, one of my favorite bloggers.
Tags: Blog-A-Thon
My last brush with it happened about a year ago in Brigade Road. Brigade Road is to Bangalore what Connaught Place is to Delhi, Leicester Square is to London and Time Square is to New York. Its is the waterhole of the city with swanky shops and illuminated hoardings all around. During the weekend evenings the place fills up to the brim with shoppers and young couples roaming around, having a nice time. Its a mass of humanity moving in all possible directions.This makes it the favorite haunt for gropers and eve teasers alike. The crowd is a perfect cover for them. After all when you are surrounded with people from all sides, you cannot avoid physical contact. And its the women and girls who suffer. As any Bangalorean will tell you, crossing the Brigade Road on foot on a Staurday night is a horrible experience. Being new to Bangalore I was unaware of this till one day I had to take my friend out to Rex for a Staurday Night movie.
My friend also happened to be one of the most stunning and attractive people I had ever known. Although she was past her prime, she still was a head turner wherever she went. She was used to all the attention she got and managed it perfectly well. But it was something more she attracted that day. A middle aged man coming from the other side bumped right into her and went straight for her crotch. Bumping into someone was not an unusual thing to happen given the crowd and the thought didnt even cross my mind that the guy was upto something else. But before she could react the guy had gone past and mingled into the crowd.
She was incensed. She felt voialated. She felt angry. She was on the verge of tears. And I stood there helpless since it was impossible to find that guy out in the crowd. Going after him would have meant leaving her stranded in middle of Brigade Road. That in itself is a scary thought. We couldnt do much. I calmed her down, fed her a ice-cream, cheered her up with the prospect of the movie and the rest of the evening went off without another untoward incident.
But today I am taking this opportunity to come clean with it. If you are reading this Pooja, then I am sorry. I am sorry that you had to feel that way because some men are just too perverted to fit into rest of humanity. Hope you can forgive us.
PS: Do read this moving post from Annie, one of my favorite bloggers.
Tags: Blog-A-Thon
12 Comments:
Said 
Anonymous, 3:05 AM
Anonymous, 3:05 AM
Pooja may forgive you,but I hope you don't get complacent with that. Next time such a thing happens,you just have to act and throw the guy to the police! No more excuses please!
This blog-a-thon has been an eye opener...I mean, everyone has a story to tell...nice you spoke out.
Maybe that was all you could have done, but the ice cream was a nice touch.
I'm not being frivolous here but realistic. Its nice to have friends around for the gruesome aftermath because most of such incidents are caused by faceless entities.
i've had a similar experience, and responded quite similarly too. you just can't do anything sometimes..
Yes, leaving her alone would have been a worser fate...I'm glad you're one of the decent ones! =)
I completely agree with you; India's view of sex is somewhat skewed.
I've already ranted about it before, heh =)
http://flwrlak.blogspot.com/2006/01/india-mixed-signals.html
bliss... its strange you know.. originally it was the indian culture which was ultra open about sex .. it celebrated sex.. depicted it in temple statues.. depicted it in writing. with time it changed due to the the muslim invasions and victorian culture.. in the meantime the west adopted our ideals and became open about it.. and we are still stuck in the same mould.
hope that the cirlce completes someday.
I know the feeling...I've been there. You are not alone.
this should be condemned at any cost.
but .. but .. the girls are also like that. When people see them doing hugs, kisses in public place on Brigade road, what is that they want to behave as the most sacred entities ? so, obviously guys will make use of this. and u know, some even keep quiet and just enjoy !
i know one of my friend who is a regular visitor to Brigade on friday/saturday has got positive response from girls there and even he was able to date with some.
i dont think this is any justifcation for gropers. how do they find out that the girl likes it? through trial and error is it? assuming a 50% success ratio, they harras an equal number of women as they satisfy.
and what is so wrong about public show of affection? by what logic does it ever reveal promisucity? or is it against our cultural ethos? just go back and have a closer look at our own culture. you'll find a very different picture.
as you said.. this has to be condemned.. i would really suggest your friend that if he wants to have fun, then first ask the girl whether she wants fun or not. not go for her crotch and confirm it straight away.
i dont think this is any justifcation for gropers. how do they find out that the girl likes it? through trial and error is it? assuming a 50% success ratio, they harras an equal number of women as they satisfy.
and what is so wrong about public show of affection? by what logic does it ever reveal promisucity? or is it against our cultural ethos? just go back and have a closer look at our own culture. you'll find a very different picture.
as you said.. this has to be condemned.. i would really suggest your friend that if he wants to have fun, then first ask the girl whether she wants it as well or not. not grope her for confirmation. mabye he'll be appreciated a bit more by those girls, get laid more and will perform a general social service as well.
peace,
rajiv.
